J was home but in a lot of pain and discomfort, we reapplied for ESA and J was awarded support group. Not surprisingly as he couldn’t move without someone pulling his leg as it was lifted or moved to the side or lifted down, which meant he couldn’t go anywhere without help. Once upright with crutches he was kind of ok as gravity acted as a pulling motion, I try to explain it to people as; do you remember those little wooden toys kids have, usually an animal of some sort. They worked by pressing a button underneath and as you pressed it the animal would collapse and when you let it go, it would miraculously ping back up to standing, all the seperate bits back together (held by elastic). J’s leg was like that, the tension had to be held to keep the cement spacer in line with his bones if it wasn’t well let’s just say we all became familiar with the sound of J screaming. He would get shooting pains as well that would make him yelp in pain and some times literally jump in his seat. He would get odd sensations of wetness or a sensation of someone touching his leg, and neuropathic pain as well. He almost always got these sharp painful pains just as he was falling asleep…

The first time he had to have the dressing changed was awful, the poor nurses and poor J. It goes against all their training to pull a leg that’s so badly broken and operated on, it took a few attempts before they really grasped pulling his leg, lol no pun intended…  In order to change his dressings the nurse’s had to lift it out of the cast, undo the wrapping, change the dressings, re wrap it and then put it back in the cast, all while pulling on his leg, I think every district nurse for miles came and had a go, they where great though working fast and as painlessly as possible, we can’t fault them we would never have got through those eight weeks with out all the nurses that came and helped, we owe them a grate debt.


Preparing to lift J’s leg out of the cast, all the cotton wool padding is cut so the nurse can lift it out, while me and another nurse prepair to whisk away the old padding and the cast so the nurse can put his leg back down cairfully all the time pulling on his leg. I cropped the photo so none of the gory bits would show, J wouldn’t want you to see those bits.

We got in to quite a good rhythm towards the end opening the cast, cutting the wrapping, lifting his leg out of the cast on to the footstool with his foot hanging off the end so the nurses could check his foot and all his other scars then re wrap the foot and anckle, then the lifting nurse would lift his leg, while we moved the footstool and re position it so J could rest while they wrapped the shin and knee area then one more lift and footstool move so they could wrap his thigh. Then the final lift and pull so me and a nurse could re position the cast and the lifting nurse could gently lower the foot and leg back in to the cast all the time pulling to create traction. By the end of it we would all be sweating, and if we all got it right J had suffered only a little pain. 


You can just see in the back ground the bottom half of the cast that we had to lift J’s leg in and out of to dress it. During the eight weeks J started to get a pressure sore on his heal, so sometimes we had to take the top half of his cast off at night so his leg and foot wasn’t under pressure for a few hours. The nurses tried everything to prevent a pressure sore forming it came close but they managed to keep it at bay.

Getting up and down the stairs was another challenge, I had to walk behind him going up as he was wobbly on his feet, I hate to think what would have happened if he’d fell I doubt I would have been much more than something softish to land on… coming down was safer, on his bottom with me holding his cast laden leg… one step at a time as they say…


(He’s shy) I adapted J’s trousers and made a Velcro fastener on one side so he didn’t have to worry about getting his leg in and out of a trouser leg.

We settled in to a routine J’s leg started to heal and his pain levels reduced.

and then…

 he fractured his right wrist in a bad fall, it wasn’t the first or last but it was the worst… 


now J had one ordinary crutch and one gutter crutch to walk with, and a wrist in a blue cast from his fingers to his elbow.

Sometimes I think if someone wrote this as a novel everyone would think how far fetched it was…

Slowly and for J very painfully the eight weeks passed as summer turned to autum, another autum missed by J, his favourite season, we finally reached the magic eight weeks and it was October 2016 and time for the second op, replacing all the prosthetic metal work and seeing if they had managed to kill the bug…

J once again left for oxford and we waved him goodbye yet again… 

Despite J’s worries the second op went well with less complications, this time we all went up to visit. J loved seeing our son and having company in the first few days after his op… not long after we came home they got him up and about starting physio, and with in two weeks he was home, original bug free and on anti fungles for a possible secondary infection, but one much easyier to get rid of… J started physio, and discovered his left, still non bendy leg was now two and a bit inches shorter than the other hence all the falling over, he’s since had special shoes made which make it easier for him to stay upright, till he takes them off and forgets his legs are difrent lengths… take your laughs where you can get them folks… 

Id like to say at this point a deeply grateful thank you to J parents for taking me and our son to see J so much over this awful time it really helped me and L and I know it helped J to have us close by for at least some of the time, I know it must have cost a lot, and not just in energy… 

J passed his first year of the PGCE and when talking to his teachers and apologising for the quality of his final essay, his teacher said when you have a teacher who can teach students with such profound support needs, as well as you do, we don’t worry about the quality of an essay… how lovely was that….

I passed my TDL as well and I had started back to work on reduced hrs for obvious reasons…regardless of my caring responsibilitys I had learnt a valuable lesson about the limitations I sometimes forget that ME and Fibro place on me and how pushing those limitations can be bloody stupid… I’m still trying to recover, I’m not really managing that yet, consiquently, I have not extended my hours even now.. I learnt my lesson I have limited capacity for a reason and I’m still paying the piper for last year… 

Our son has been diagnosed with high functioning autism to add to the sensory processing disorder, he calls it asparagus syndrome I like his sense of humour. It’s nothing we didn’t expect and he’s still just L at the end of the day… with all his joys and challenges… 

Fast forward to July 2017 lots has happened this year, J completed his commission a bitter sweet experience, and he’s going back to college to complete the second year of the PGCE. It’s going to be difficult for him but he wants to get it done because…


(J’s commission, Sorry about the iffy photo)

 J’s having counselling for a possible amputation, as well as meeting up to chat with people that have had the op…

 J’s new prosthetics won’t last ten years probably, maybe a good five or eight maybe, he’s 46, the older he is the harder it will be for him to adjust to a prosthetic limb.  I don’t think he wants to lose any more years to the non bendy leg. It’s is most likely J will have an above knee amputation after he finishes college in 2019… the Long Road continues… 

Oh and I have been diagnosed with AF, Atrial fibrillation… 😊 I have a heart condition… YAY…

I think now you can see why it’s taken me so long to put this all down.

And just because they can the DWP have just told J that his ESA will stop in September as he will no longer qualify under the 365day rule… again…

And worryingly J has been complaining that his leg hurts… I’m hoping with every breath that it’s a healing pain…

and I’m still really really tired…

Live long and prosper my people…

Dxxx

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